


This Was Only A Dream, My Love

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Variations on a Dan [3]
Category: Game Grumps, Good Game - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Demon Self, Desperation, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, Face Slapping, Loneliness, M/M, Pining, Vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 19:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Alex goes someplace else.It's less pleasant than the last one.





	This Was Only A Dream, My Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fallenandscatteredpetals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenandscatteredpetals/gifts).



> Edited by Angel! 
> 
> Ten points to anyone who gets the references in here.

Alex had started to go to sleep with some trepidation.

Well, not trepidation, per se.

That would imply that he wasn't exactly going to sleep, and he was sleeping.

Oh, but was he sleeping, especially considering the sheer amount of illicit substances that he had been imbibing.

... alright, so maybe he wanted to go to the place with the white stone walls, and the dim light everywhere.

Was that so bad?

Maybe he was lonely, and he was getting fucking _sick_ of Ryland brushing off all of his concerns, brushing off his feelings, brushing him off in general.

Maybe he just wanted to feel like someone cared about him, the way that Dan and Danny had, even though the whole situation had been kind of... strange.

But the bottom line was that he had been sleeping more lately, in hopes of returning to that place.

He was even starting to call them his "mini vacations," which got him odd looks from Ryland, but, well, what didn't?

But his sleep wasn't bringing him to the familiar white stone places.

If anything, he wasn't dreaming or going anywhere.

Or at least, he didn't think he was.

"Dude," said Ryland one morning, after a particularly deep sleep, "you smell fuckin' horrible."

"I'm sorry," said Alex, although he didn't smell that different to himself.

"That must have been some _really_ dank weed you were smokin' last night. Your hair still kinda smells like it."

"I wasn't smoking last night," Alex said, his brow furrowing. 

"Well, then someone at the bar was, because... geez."

Ryland wrinkled his nose.

Alex resisted the urge to comment on the fact that Ryland hadn't actually _showered_ in the last three days, and wasn't exactly a bed of roses himself.

But no, that would be unfair.

It wasn't Ryland's fault he was depressed and didn't really feel like doing anything.

God knew that Alex had been through that.

He smelled his own hair, and then he made a face, wrinkling his nose.

Okay, yeah, that did smell... kinda rancid.

But it wasn't exactly weed.

It was almost phosphoric, as if he'd been chilling out in a match factory or something.

He washed his hair very hard that night, and he went to bed thoughtful.

* * *

He didn't remember much about his dreams, but there _were_ dreams. 

He was... he was wandering through a blasted hellscape, some kind of strange place, and there were plants that reached out and grabbed for his legs as he went by, and some strange beast was howling nearby, but it wasn't close enough to pose enough of a threat for him to actually be _scared_ per se.

In the dream, his pants had been scratched to fringes, and they flapped against his legs when he began to run down the long and many winding paths.

He woke up with his sheets in a bunch around his ankles.

He didn't really notice much of a difference until he went to take a shower, at which point he started screaming.

Ryland came running in, and Alex had to quickly pull his pants on, because, well... nobody wants a surprise dick in their face. 

Especially not Ryland.

"What's going on? Why are you screaming?"

Ryland was out of breath.

"My legs," Alex said. "Look at my legs."

Around his ankles and the bottoms of his calves, there were scratches, as if something with very big claws had tried to get at him. 

"Shit, did you get into a fight with a corgi holding a garden fork or something?"

Ryland's face was open, and his expression was sympathetic.

Alex wanted to kiss him so badly.

Then Ryland's nose wrinkled.

"Dude, you probably just got high and tripped over something and forgot about it."

"But I didn't get high last night!"

"Your hair stinks of it," said Ryland, making a face. "You'll be fine."

Alex bit back a bunch of responses, and put a smile on his face.

"You're right," he told Ryland. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Ryland, and he gave Alex an awkward pat on the back, leaving the bathroom.

Alex stared down at his scratched up legs, and he was frowning.

He was going to have to wash his hair - he smelled like phosphorous again.

* * *

In his next dream, he was wandering around again, those same grabby plants nipping at his heels.

The sky was black, and didn't even seem to be a sky - more like a high, vaulted cavern, way over his head. 

The landscape was mainly black and red.

And this was... it felt like a dream.

It wasn't like when he'd been in the big white room, and everything had been... well, it had felt real. 

It obviously hadn't been entirely real, but it had followed regular logic.

Things here followed dream logic - complicated dream logic, admittedly, but still.

When Alex stopped in front of a creek running with poisonous looking water, he knew, instinctively, that he had to drop three stones in it before he'd be able to wade across it safely.

And they had to a certain _kind_ of stone - a stone with a hole in it.

It took him time to do it - he knew it did, because when he was across the creek, his hands were sore from digging through the rocks, many of which had very pointy corners.

But he had no memory of doing it. 

And then something came up behind him, putting hands on his shoulders, and he jumped, which woke him up.

* * *

Alex woke up to bruised knuckles and a split fingernail, as if he had been sifting through stones the night before. 

Were his dreams coming to life?

Or was it some kind of subliminal... something or other?

Maybe he was doing too many drugs.

* * *

Of course, he didn't exactly remember what it was that he was going to do, after his dealer had offered him a few tabs of LSD, because hey, why not, right?

It wasn't like he was needed to be that productive.

And Ryland was doing something or other out of the house (miracle of miracles), which theoretically gave Alex the chance to just lie in his underwear and stare up at the ceiling as things happened around him. 

It couldn't hurt to try, right?

He did a tab, and he lay on the bed, staring into nothingness.

And then he closed his eyes.

* * *

Not much happened for a while.

Well, no, tell a lie.

The usual... LSD shenanigans happened, but Alex had expected that.

The floor moved, the ceiling moved, he could hear the stars singing and the end of the world was coming, okay, whatever.

If he could, he would have pressed a fast forward button.

But no. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because then he was... there.

The strange place, where the cavernous ceiling vaulted over his head, and the light was dark and red, tinged with some kind of... wrongness.

He was here in a body this time - it was his body, or at least, a body that was as comfortable as his own.

And there was a path, leading to some great, terrifying... thing.

Maybe it was some creature, long dead, its corpse alive with the things that hadn't had a chance at it when it was fresh.

Maybe it was an old, crumbling fortress.

Those could have been empty eye sockets, or they could have been bricked up windows.

It all looked... well, it looked unpleasant, but the rest of the landscape looked equally unpleasant. 

There were more of those... grabbing plants, scrabbling at his ankles, and there were trees that twisted, like people dying of starvation.

If Alex looked too close, would he be able to count ribs?

Or would it be just different enough that Alex _wouldn't_ have screaming nightmares?

Could you have a nightmare from something that you were already dreaming?

... sort of.

He shoved his hands in his pants (he'd gone to sleep wearing pants, thank all the gods there weren't) and made his way along the road.

It was a white road, choked up with those strange, grabby plants, and the road itself was white, with splashes of crimson splashed across it in a line.

Maybe it was due to his altered state, but the crimson looked like blood.

It couldn't be blood, obviously.

Blood didn't stay red when it had dried, and this looked long dry. 

At least, from up where Alex was.

He didn't want to think about it.

The road was the color of bone, and he followed the splashes of crimson, lacking anything else to do.

The road behind him led into darkness, and the road in front of him led into the strange corpse/building/whatever it was.

Maybe he'd find a way out.

He'd rather be in the great white place.

At least there, things didn't seem so... hostile.

And it didn't smell like phosphorous. 

* * * 

Alex had kept going across the white road.

There was a bridge at one point, and there had been... some kind of thing there, something that he didn't want to look too closely at, but it had been big, and it had teeth.

It hadn't said anything or done anything, just stared at Alex as he walked across the bridge.

Stared at him with great, luminous eyes, which was, admittedly, disconcerting. 

But it hadn't followed Alex down the road, and so Alex had let it alone.

There had been another man... shaped thing, wrapped in rags, right on the outskirts of the forest.

The forest was getting thicker, and the shadows were long, trailing over the white road.

Some animal instinct told him not to let them touch him. 

* * *

Alex woke up halfway to the... castle thing.

He had a splitting headache, and the worst cotton mouth of his life.

His feet hurt, as if he'd been walking long distances in them.

Ryland was at the table, eating from a pizza he'd ordered.

"Dude," said Ryland, and he smiled at Alex. "You were out like a light."

"LSD, man," said Alex. "How long was I asleep?"

Ryland shrugged.

"Wasn't keeping track," he told Alex. "Almost twenty four hours, I think. You were asleep when I went to bed, asleep when I got up... since I couldn't use the couch, I went out, did some grocery shopping."

There was only a little bit of glare at "couldn't use the couch," but Alex made a point of ignoring it. 

"Shit," Alex said. "I'm sorry!"

"It's fine," said Ryland. 

It kinda wasn't - Alex could tell.

But Ryland would never actually say anything about it. 

"You want some pizza?"

Ryland indicated the open pizza box.

"Shit, yeah, I'm fucking starving," said Alex, and he limped over to the table, sitting down carefully.

"What'd you do to your feet?" Ryland raised an eyebrow.

"I, uh, I did a lot of walking," said Alex. 

"When?"

"Before I did the LSD," said Alex.

He didn't like to lie to Ryland, but he didn't think he could have told Ryland the truth.

Anyway, how would he have managed that to begin with?

He sighed, leaning back into his seat, and he gobbled the pizza up.

Ryland had gotten it without any red meat, which was awfully thoughtful of him.

It was always nice when Ryland was thoughtful.

"Dude," Ryland said, wrinkling his nose, "you smell horrible. Holy shit."

"Sorry," said Alex. "I'll, uh, I'll take a proper shower when I'm done eating."

"What kind of dank weed are you smoking, anyway? It smells like fucking... someone dunked your head in the shit they use on matchboxes."

"Phosphorous," Alex said absently.

"How would you know that?"

Ryland was looking at Alex, one eyebrow up.

"I'm not stupid, Ryland," Alex said, trying to sound as put together as he could manage.

"I wasn't implying you were," Ryland said quickly. "Sorry."

"It's fine," said Alex. "I know you'd never be mean to me like that."

"Oh, totally," Ryland agreed.

He smiled at Alex, and a little bit of Alex's heart broke, at how fucking pretty Ryland was.

Ryland _did_ like him, it wasn't just some stupid one sided crush. 

Unbidden, the image of Danny the unicorn popped into his head, and he took another big bite of pizza so that he didn't have to think about it too hard.

Oh god. 

No, he wasn't going down that road. 

He probably shouldn’t have gone down that road, in his dream. 

When had his life become some kind of off-brand Neil Gaiman short story?

He sighed, and Ryland shot him a concerned look.

"You okay, man?"

That was touching - usually Ryland was kinda... clueless about his emotional state.

Admittedly, he usually tried to keep Ryland in the dark about it, because the guy had enough shit to worry about, right?

"I've, uh... I've been having weird dreams," Alex said.

He'd never told Ryland about the big white place, because that was all too... weird.

Anyway, Ryland would just think that he was crazy.

But some part of him ached to share it.

All of it was just so... weird.

And his feet were still hurting.

But Ryland was sitting there, and they were talking, joking.

Alex tried not to stare at Ryland's mouth, tried not to think about just how badly he wanted to kiss the other man.

... maybe he needed to get a boyfriend or something.

Get all of this gay out of his system or something.

Was it gay?

Bisexual? Pansexual?

Maybe he was thinking too deeply into this shit.

"Hey Ry," Alex said, keeping his tone mellow, neutral.

"Mmm?"

"You ever, um, ever been into a dude?"

Ryland looked at him, one eyebrow up.

"You got a gay crush or something?"

Alex couldn't parse Ryland's tone.

"No, I don't have a gay crush," Alex said.

It wasn't a gay crush.

Alex wasn't gay, so it couldn't be a gay crush.

"So why'd you ask?"

"I read a thing about how, uh, everyone is a lot gayer than they really like to think about, because our society is, like, so down on being not straight and shit, so you end up with a lot of people, like, suppressing urges, and then you just end up with a lot of hate crimes and shit."

"Huh," said Ryland. "I mean, I guess? Maybe?"

"Yeah?"

Alex's heart was beating very fast in his ears.

Holy shit.

"I've had dudes who I thought were, like, good looking," Ryland said, "and I once jerked it to gay porn, kinda."

"Kinda?"

"I was looking at a bunch of different porn and it was all... there was gay porn mixed into it, so I ended up kinda cumming while watching a guy sucking another guy's wiener, but that didn't necessarily mean that I was _into_ the whole wiener sucking, just that I was at the point where I was gonna cum regardless."

"Do you think that's how people end up with weird fetishes?"

"Hm?"

"Like, they're just jerking it, and then they, like, they end up seeing something weird, and they cum from it because they're about to cum anyway, and then they start thinking that the thing that made them cum made them cum because, you know, they just... came from it. And then you get people who are jerking off to shit like people changing lightbulbs or popping balloons or something."

"... changing lightbulbs?"

"I don't fuckin' know," said Alex, and he was laughing now. "I was trying to think of, like, the least sexy thing ever."

"And you weren't thinking of stuff like poop?"

"Well, okay, poop is a thing, but I guess I could get why people would be into that."

Ryland gave Alex a look, and there was disgust mixed into it.

"Like, okay, people really like the gross, taboo stuff," said Alex quickly. "People like to be grossed out sometimes. So that makes sense, right?"

"I guess," said Ryland.

"People like gross, weird stuff, because it's gross and weird. Like... like horror movies."

"Ash likes horror movies," Ryland said suddenly.

"Of course she does," Alex said, and he tried to sound chipper.

"But I think I get you," said Ryland. "Like... gross versus boring?"

"Yeah."

"That's really thoughtful," said Ryland. "I didn't realize that you could be that thoughtful."

... oh.

Ouch.

Alex smiled at him, as best he could, and Ryland didn't really seem to realize what it was that he had gotten wrong.

Then again, Ryland would have to get out of his own damn head to even think about someone else's feelings.

... um.

Hmm.

Maybe he was spending too much time in that weird place that he went to when he was sleeping.

Something or other was making him more of a jerk as of late.

He was feeling less charitable towards Ryland, and that wasn't really fair.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna go out," said Alex.

"You do that," said Ryland. "Just don't do anything too stupid."

"I'll only do the recommended amount of stupid," Alex promised.

Ryland snorted, but he was grinning.

* * * 

Alex got drunk.

Alex got stupidly drunk, the kind of drunk that he usually shied away from.

Maybe he'd end up back in the white place.

Or maybe he'd end up in the great cavernous... place.

Hopefully the former, not the latter.

"There are... there are variations of you, did you know that?"

He was talking to his cab driver, who seemed to be taking it in stride. 

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah," said Alex, and he flopped back into the seat.

The whole car was spinning around him. 

"There's a place where I became a rock star," he told the guy.

"That must be some kind of place," said the driver.

"Rockstar me is kind of a douche," Alex said in a stage whisper. "Because he's kinda... he's all... y'know."

"Mmm?"

"Like all... cock rock and shit."

"Cock rock?"

"Yeah. Like... in his case... he's _all_ about his cock...."

"Is he, now?"

"Oh yeah," said Alex, and he was laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe. "But not, like... there's a guy, only he's not _exactly_ a guy, and he's got a bigger cock, and it's a fuckin'... it's a rainbow cock!"

"A rainbow cock," the cab driver said, still deadpan. "I hope he's seen a doctor for that."

"I think a doctor was the one who got him to do it in the first place," said Alex. "Of course. Duh."

"Oh, obviously," said the cab driver.

Alex was cackling as he gave the man his money, staggered his way towards the house.

* * *

Alex fell onto the couch - Ryland was gone. 

Ryland was probably sleeping, and it was Alex's job to be quiet, as he wriggled out of his pants, flat onto the bed, belly down.

He was asleep before his face hit the pillow.

* * *

Alex woke up on the side of the white road, and he wasn't wearing pants. 

Um.

Hold on a sec.

Why wasn't he wearing pants?

He wasn't wearing shoes either.

He stepped along the white road, and the stone was hard and rough under his feet.

But where else was he going to go?

So he walked along the white road, as the little pebbles crunched under his feet.

It was unpleasant.

* * *

He was nearing the great something or other.

Shoeless, pantsless, it was a bad idea for him to go off into the forests.

They looked like they would be... unpleasant.

And now, in the logic of dreams, he was in front of the place. 

What even was this place?

It looked like a giant... something or other.

It had a sour, almost slimy smell to it.

If a smell could be slimy.

And someone was standing at the mouth of the strange thing, looking ... smug.

Or something.

The face was familiar.

Very familiar.

Only, well... there was a lot of makeup.

And there were horns.

And he didn't look... normal, from the waist down.

Exactly.

Something looked off, although Alex didn't know how to explain it, exactly.

"You know," the strange dude with the horns said, "when I was planning on meeting you, I always pictured you wearing pants."

"Why were you picturing meeting me?"

Holy fuck, but he looked like Alex.

Only... not.

It was kind of like looking at Dan, or like Danny.

It wasn't them, though. 

He could tell that, as soon as he met the other being's eyes.

"I've been watching you," said the... demon?

Close enough.

"I keep tripping over you," the demon said, and he beckoned Alex into the place.

Alex's feet were sore, bloody, and he... well, he was wearing an old pair of boxer briefs with little rocket ships on them.

"Tripping over me?"

"Or someone who looks like you," said the demon, and he slung an arm around Alex's shoulders, leading him into the silently screaming mouth.

* * *

Alex followed after him.

He didn't entirely know why.

Maybe because he just didn't have a choice otherwise.

Where else was he gonna go, in this hostile landscape?

The floor of the place was carpeted, and it was heavenly against his sore feet.

The carpet was soft, thick, thick enough that he was sinking down into it. 

There were lights, and there were huge sconces, filled with flickering torches.

"There are a bunch of people who look like me," Alex said, trying not to stare.

There were... things in the shadows.

Things in the shadows that had too many eyes.

Things all looked bright and cheery, in a... medieval times kind of way.

Until they weren't. 

If he looked too closely, things were just... wrong. 

There as a sourness to the air, a darkness that he couldn't put his fingers on, except that all the hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end.

And the hand around his shoulders was squeezing him, was warm enough that his whole body was beginning to shake.

This was... this wasn't....

Alex's thoughts moved sluggishly.

Maybe he was still drunk.

"Oh, I know," said the demon. "You're the least annoying, at least."

"You know, I don't hear that too often," said Alex, and he snickered in spite of himself.

And then they were walking into a... totally modern kitchen?

Sort of.

"Do you like cookies?"

The demon smiled at Alex, and his teeth were very sharp. 

They were too sharp.

It was the kind of sharpness that set the brain off, saying "danger," without exactly... telling you what kind of danger it was.

Because it was danger, but it wasn't a danger that Alex even knew how to classify.

It was like something out of a nightmare.

Was it a nightmare?

"Cookies?"

"Yep. I like cookies." He smiled. "I like a lot of different kinds of cookies. I've got varieties of them."

"Varieties."

The guy sounded like he was a zombie.

"Yep!"

"Those are some pretty awesome horns," Alex said, possibly to save himself from gibbering off into the ether like some poor Lovecraft protagonist.

"Thanks," said the demon, and he grinned again, his long tongue lolling out.

Alex's heart jumped in his chest, and there was more gibbering.

"This is a dream," Alex said, his tone philosophical. 

He looked over his shoulder - he was walking across the tile floor, and his feet were leaving bloody footprints.

The tile was very cold.

When had his feet started to bleed?

Was that his own blood?

"At least you followed the trail I led for you," said the demon, and he led Alex to a chair, sitting him down. "I was worried you'd get lost."

"I mean," said Alex, "there is only one road."

"There's a bunch of roads," the demon said. "I only showed you the one."

"Oh," said Alex. "I didn't know you could do that."

_Of course I didn't know that, how the fuck would I know any of that?_

"I can do a lot of stuff," said the demon, and another grin with those teeth that were entirely too sharp.

'So... are you, like... are you a cosplayer?"

"A cosplayer?" The demon grinned again.

"Yeah," said Alex. "A, uh, a friend of mine, she does cosplay sometimes. She's got horns like that."

"I don't think that they're like mine," said the demon.

If it was a demon.

Was it a person in a weird outfit?

It was easier to think of it as a weird outfit, because, well... there were places that he didn't want to go.

Mentally.

Or... something.

Who even fucking knew. 

He wasn't drunk, physically - at least, he didn't think he was.

He wasn't giddy, he wasn't dizzy, he wasn't queasy.

He was just... he was here.

And there was this weird dude who looked like some kind of wannabe cosplayer of... something or other. 

"You're really in denial, aren't you?" 

The demon guy stared at Alex, and his eyes were... wrong.

The pupils were the wrong shape.

There was a scream trapped in the back of Alex's throat, but it wasn't going to come out just yet.

He licked his lips.

"What is this place?"

"It's my domain," the demon said. 

It wasn't a dude in cosplay.

It was a real demon.

Oh god.

Alex sat down heavily at one of the chairs, and the demon stood up, beginning to hustle around the kitchen.

Its feet were like hooves one second, paws the next - nothing about them were static.

At least it stayed pretty normal above the waist.

"So," said the demon, "cookies."

It was rustling through a giant cabinet.

"Where is your domain... located, exactly?"

The demon smiled at him, and oh god, more of those teeth.

"Well," he said, "where do you think we are?"

"We're not in the... white place," said Alex slowly.

"You mean heaven?"

The demon set a heaping plate of cookies in front of Alex.

Some of them looked normal.

Some of them... not so much.

Some of them were... moving.

Okay.

Focus on the normal ones.

There was a big one, with a splodge of some kind of white icing - glazing? - across it.

Alex brought it up to his nose, and it smelled lemony.

And then he threw up.

It was rather sudden.

One minute: lemony cookie.

The next, vomit spewing out of his mouth and nose.

* * * 

And then Alex was waking up, and Alex shuddered, shaking, throwing up onto the floor.

He was gross, but for some reason, he couldn't help but feel like he was escaping something by the skin of his teeth.

His teeth, which were... urgh.

This was all pretty "urgh." 

Maybe he needed to take a break from all of the various illicit substances.

Something about that demon was... unsettling.

He didn't think he wanted to think about that thing too much - the demon, the place, the weirdness of the cookies....

He was going to stay sober.

He was going to avoid all of the various illicit substances that he was known to imbibe in, and he was going to stay on the straight and narrow.

... as it were.

Maybe.

Would Ryland be able to tell the difference?

Alex stared down at the floor, and he grimaced.

Okay.

First things first, get a mop.

* * * 

Alex's plans to stay sober lasted for almost two weeks.

And then he had a fight.

It wasn't really a fight, honestly.

Ryland was coming out of his shell, with his crush on Ash, and they were doing... something or other, and Alex had just pointed out that the two of them already plans and couldn't Ash reschedule, but Ryland had kind of... exploded, and maybe the days of the old Boogerboss weren't that far gone after all.

... and okay, Alex probably shouldn't have said that, but then again, being around Ryland was like walking on eggshells as of late anyway.

Alex was beginning to get tired of it.

He hated confrontation, he hated fighting.

But... fuck it.

He shouted some stuff he was probably going to regret, and then he was walking away; out the door, down the street, all along the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.

At least he was wearing shoes this time.

His feet had been torn to ribbons last time.

But this time, he went into the nearest bar that he could find, and he took shot after shot after shot, until he couldn't exactly keep things straight.

"I don't think I am," Alex told the bartender.

"Mmm?"

The bartender clearly didn't care, but Alex could pretend.

That's what most of his relationships were anyway, weren't they?

Pretending.

"I don't think I'm thinking straight," said Alex.

"I mean," the bartender said, "considering how much alcohol you've imbibed, I don't think anyone would be able to think straight."

"But does that mean that I'm thinking gay?"

"I dunno," the bartender said. "Are you?"

Alex shoved the money towards the bartender, and he made his way out.

Fuck it.

He was going home.

He was going to walk home, clear his head.

So he walked.

* * * 

Things looked different when he got out of the bar.

For one thing, the road was white.

Alex looked up, and the sky vaulted over him, in the great cavernous expanse that was the demon's domain.

Alex looked over his shoulder, and he saw that the bar was gone.

Welp.

Alex sighed.

This wasn't how this kind of thing usually went down, and it was giving him the creeps.

He wished he had something to drop on the path - some kind of beans or lentils or something.

Birds wouldn't eat beans, right?

He was smarter than bread crumbs, at least.

* * * 

At the great dead thing's gaping maw, the demon was waiting for him, once again.

"You disappeared on me," the demon said, his tone somewhere between sympathetic and worried.

"Sorry about that," Alex said, although he wasn't, not really.

"You're lying, but I really don't care," said the demon, and there was that arm around Alex's shoulders.

There were very sharp teeth that were very close to his cheek.

To his eye.

Um.

Some mad animal terror was working its way up his throat, like some kind of small, furry animal.

He kept his mouth shut, to keep it from spinning out.

Okay.

Okay.

He could do this.

"So how did I get here this time?"

"I wanted you to be here," said the demon, "so you're here."

"Why did you want me to be here?" 

They were in a different room this time - a great living room, with a roaring fireplace, huge couches, and very thick fur rugs.

Alex was glad that he was wearing shoes this time.

"Well," said the demon, "you're a lot more fun than the other one, and you're a lot less obnoxious than the other ones."

"Other ones?"

"Oh, yeah," said the demon, and he flopped onto the couch, pulling Alex down with him.

The couch was comfortable, and the leather was... odd.

Somehow.

It was something or other.

This was all something or other.

Alex was still drunk.

"How am I still drunk?"

"You don't really stay to one subject, do you?"

"Not really, no," said Alex. "Why am I still drunk?"

"Usually I just kinda... leave a door open for one part of yourself to walk into," said the demon. "But I got tired of you having the ability to just go whenever, so I thought I'd make it more... interesting."

"Are you gonna try to ravish me?"

"Why, do you want me to?"

"What?!"

Alex tried to scramble away, fell on his ass, and ended up sprawled on his back on the huge furry rug. 

The fur had belonged to some strange... something or other.

All of this was strange, and his head was spinning - it was _all_ spinning, and he couldn't breathe, until he could, and everything smelled... it smelled like phosphorous, it smelled like leather, and the demon was sprawled on its (his?) side, one hand stroking along Alex's side.

"You're so warm," the demon said. "I forget about that. The angels are so cold...."

"There are angels?"

"Oh yes," said the demon, and another grin, with those teeth like needles.

Those teeth like needles, which were _too_ fucking close to Alex's face.

Terror curdled in Alex's gut like bad milk.

"And you're not one of them? Weren't one of them?"

"Nope," said the demon, and he grinned again.

His face looked like Alex's.

It was... it was something.

It looked like Alex's, except it... it didn't.

It didn't on some fundamental level that Alex couldn't put his finger on, except that it was _weird_.

He'd looked into faces that looked like his own, but they weren't... they had been different.

They had been weathered by different lives, and it showed.

This face looked... it didn't look human.

It was like some kind of impressionist painting, where you could see the water lilies stepping back, but it was all globs of paint up close.

This close, almost nose to nose... the demon's face contained valleys, crags that didn't... belong.

And then those eyes, with their pupils that were the wrong shape (what shape was it? Who even fucking knew, 'cause Alex sure didn't!) and there was something burning in the very back of them.

And the demon's breath was rank, like some kind of wild animal.

He radiated heat, like lying next to a radiator.

... that must have been why they were called radiators.

And then Alex was grinning, and the demon was grinning back at him. 

"I'm not going to touch you without you asking me to touch you," the demon told Alex. 

"You think I'll ask you to touch me?"

"I _know_ you'll ask me to touch you," the demon said, and his expression was downright smug.

Alex rolled his eyes.

The demon's hand hovered over Alex's haunch, his forehead nearly touching Alex's own.

The demon's horns were curved like a ram's, and they were shiny, red. 

When was the last time that Alex had been this close to someone else? 

When was the last time that anyone had looked at him like this?

"I can change, you know," the demon said, and then it was speaking in a different voice.

It was speaking in Ryland's voice.

"Is this what you'd prefer, Alex? Do you want to lie next to me like this?"

Alex was drunk enough that it fucked with him.

There wasn't really any other way to describe it.

It fucked with him, fucked with him to the point that he started to shake.

"Alex," Ryland's voice said, and the hand that had been hovering came to rest on Alex's hip, "Alex, you look so cold. Do you want me to hold you?"

"You're being a jerk," Alex said, his voice shaking.

"I'm giving you what you want," said the demon.

Alex kept his eyes shut, but he put his hand on the body in front of his.

If he kept the pressure light, he could just make out the sensation of body heat under cloth.

The demon was wearing a leather jacket, and sometimes Ryland wore a leather jacket.

What if Ryland lay on the floor with him like this?

What would he do?

... he wasn't being fair to Ryland, Ryland was unhappy, and... and.....

Alex wanted the inside of his head to shut up.

He wanted to surrender, for once in his life, and not constantly be worried about making everyone else happy, about chasing after people who didn't actually love him, who just tolerated him.

Sure, it was a demon, but... well, a demon was still alive, sort of.

"Touch me," Alex said, and his voice broke.

"What was that?"

"Touch me, please," Alex said, aware that he was begging, aware that he was reaching for the first warm body that had shown anything like interest in him in far too long.

"Told you," the demon said, his expression wicked, and then he was... climbing up on top of Alex, resting on Alex's hips, and okay, the demon had a _tail_ , and it was lashing, the very tip of it tracing along the inside of Alex's thigh.

Alex was shaking.

He looked into those eyes, with their strange pupils and the otherworldly light behind them, and he turned his face up to be kissed. 

"You're shaking," the demon said.

"I'm drunk," Alex said. "Are you going to give me my first gay supernatural experience or what?"

There was more bravado in that sentence than he really intended there to be.

He was freaking out.

Kind of.

Sort of?

He didn't know.

It was all spinning, but it was also all in stark relief.

The demon was wearing a leather jacket and no shirt, and its chest was tattooed, with demonic images that he didn't know how to describe, except that they were... wrong.

This was getting frustrating.

He was going to have to read more horror fiction or something, to improve his descriptive powers. 

Maybe he was focusing on weird shit, because he was so drunk.

Did he want this weird demon to be his first supernatural gay experience?

"Does this even count as a gay experience?"

"Mmm?"

The demon was grinding against his crotch, and the demon's own jeans were tight enough, but Alex couldn't see much of anything.

Was there a dick there?

Was there something else?

Maybe he was drunk.

Or maybe he was heartsick, or some combination of it.

Did it even fucking matter?

He reached up, grabbing for the demon's horns, and he crushed their mouths together in what was, quite possibly, the most awkward kiss Alex had ever been in.

No, tell a lie, he'd had his share of awkward, uncomfortable kisses.

But there hadn't been needle teeth, and there were strong, yanking fingers in Alex's hair.

"I fucking _told_ you," the demon said, and he was laughing, kissing Alex, and that long tongue was sliding into Alex's mouth like a thief in the night.

They kissed.

They kissed, and there were little stabs of sharpness against Alex's lips, Alex's tongue, and the two of them were chest to chest, belly to belly.

The demon had a dick.

Or it had some other kind of something or other that was pressed against Alex's dick, because it was hard and it was hot, hot enough that Alex was a little afraid of it.

A little afraid of all of this.

But he pushed it aside, and he groped the front of the demon's chest, unfamiliar with the lack of softness.

The demon pulled back, and he laughed.

It was an ugly, uncomfortable sound, but the demon was grinding his flat butt against Alex's cock, and Alex was rocking his hips forward, as he got hard.

"You want me to grow tits?" 

The flesh... bulged, and it wasn't so much that there were breasts as there were the.. suggestion of breasts, and they were under Alex's hands.

Alex drew his hands back like they were burned, and he shook his head quickly.

"No, no, it's fine," said Alex. "I'm, uh... I'm good with you like this. With you as yourself."

"This isn't entirely myself," said the demon, "but I don't think you'd like my original form."

"Hmm?"

Alex blinked up at the demon.

And then the demon's form... blinked.

Sort of.

Kind of?

What was it?

Something that had too many limbs, moving in ways that they weren't supposed to, and yes, some part of Alex's mind was gibbering in a corner, but then the demon was wearing Alex's face again, and that was almost refreshing - sure, it was looking into his own face, which was alien in a way that it shouldn't have been, but at least it wasn't... whatever that had been.

And then Alex was kissing the demon again, and he was holding onto the horns, and he was rolling them over, so that he was on top of the demon. 

"God, you want to be in charge, don't you?" 

The demon grinned, and the light glinted off of his eyeteeth. 

"I just want to fuck you," Alex said savagely.

Thank god he could get it up.

He wasn't so drunk that he was limp dicked.

That would have sucked, on so many levels. 

No, he was the opposite.

He was hard the way he had been when he was a teenager, first starting these types of things.

It was like a piece of marble with a heartbeat, and he was on top of the demon, who was wriggling his hips against Alex's hips.

"You gonna fuck me, big boy?"

The demon tilted his head to the side, and his eyes got wide, a long, almost snake like tongue slipping out from between his lips.

But no, Alex was going to concentrate on his own cock, as he freed it from his pants, as he rubbed it against the lump in the demon's pants.

"Don't you want to take mine out? Or is this all about your dick?" The demon rolled his hips forward, and Alex looked down.

Okay.

That was a dick.

He had almost no experience with dicks, apart from his own.

... and Ryland, but okay, no, that was mean.

Alex sighed - he was here, with some otherworldly thing that clearly wanted to be fucked, and here he was thinking about Ryland.

Alex made a savage, frustrated sound, and he yanked at the demon's leather pants, pulling them down.

The demon's cock was... a cock.

It looked human.

It was circumcised.

Why was Alex surprised by that?

He wrapped his hand around it, and oh wow, that was... it was hot.

It was hot against his hand - how could it be so hot?

He squeezed it, and that wasn't what he was expecting, but was that just because he wasn't that used to someone else's cock.

He began to rub it, and then he pressed their two cocks together, grinding like he was humping the bed.

"Oh," Alex mumbled. " _Oh_."

"That's all you got?" The demon looked... did it look annoyed, or was Alex imagining things?

Alex made an annoyed noise, and then he yanked at the demon's waist, pulling the demon's pants down and off. 

And... okay, the demon's skin was... off.

Alex didn't want to look at it too closely.

"Are you going to fuck me, Alex?" 

The demon laughed, squirming, and there was something malicious in it.

Alex ignored it, and he lined his cock up with the demon's hole. 

He was going to fuck him.

Wait.

Actually. 

Hold on.

"Do you want this?"

Alex looked into the demon's eyes.

The demon was laughing. 

It was the kind of laughing that belong behind closed doors, and it wasn't _nice_.

"That's not an answer," Alex said.

His head was spinning, and his cock was throbbing. 

The very tip of his cock was pressed against the demon's hole, and it felt like the muscles were trying to pull him in. 

"Do it," the demon said. "Put it in me. Fuck me. Fuck me the way you'd fuck this precious Ryland of yours."

Alex made a frustrated noise, and he shoved himself in, one long stroke.

And regretted it.

He met a bit of resistance, which was... uncomfortable, but it gave up pretty quick, and then it was just hot, squeezing....

Holy shit. 

"Oh god," Alex groaned.

"Nope," said the demon, and he did something interesting with his internal muscles that made Alex's eyes cross.

"Oh fuck," Alex groaned, and he pulled out a bit, before pushing himself in deeper. "Oh fuck, you're so... oh fuck!"

"You're nice and thick," said the demon. "Should I use this voice? Oh, _Alex_!" 

And there was Ryland's voice again.

Alex made a frustrated noise, and he grabbed one of the demon's horns, forcing the demon's head back.

"Stop doing that," Alex said, his voice rough.

"Stop what?" That was still Ryland's voice. "You know I've always cared about you, buddy. I lie in bed at night and I just wish that you'd climb in with me...."

Alex hit the demon. 

Just reached out and slapped him on the face, hard enough that Alex could feel it through his palm, and the demon laughed, wriggling under Alex, forcing himself further onto Alex's cock.

"Oh ho ho...." 

The demon was laughing now, and it felt like every laugh drew Alex deeper in.

"I'm so sorry," Alex said, his heart in his throat.

He had never been one to hurt someone else during sex - it just wasn't what he did.

But that was his hand print, right there on the demon's face. 

Oh god.

"You had to go and ruin it," the demon said, and he rolled his eyes.

Alex grabbed the demon by the horns and kissed him, partially to shut him up. 

The demon moaned, and that sounded suspiciously like Ryland, and Alex bit down on the demon's lip, which made the demon moan again, and something tarry and fiery hit Alex's tongue, and he pulled back, spitting.

"You don't like ichor, then?"

The demon was lounging there, as Alex let go of his horns, to go for the demon's thighs, using them for leverage.

He focused on watching his own dick, sinking inch by inch by inch into the demon's ass, and he rolled his hips, pushing himself deeper, moaning, his back bowing, his mouth falling open.

"Fuck," Alex groaned. 

It had been a long time since he'd fucked anyone. 

"Oh, fuck, you love it," the demon panted. "You love _me_!" 

Alex paused.

He was drunk.

He wasn't that drunk.

"I don't," Alex said, but he kept his dick inside of the demon, kept fucking him, clinging to the demon's thighs.

And did the demon's tail change for a moment, to a fox's brush, before it was only the spindly scrap of skin that it had been?

Who could tell?

"You love me," the demon crooned, and he was smug. 

Fucking... smug.

Alex would have hit the demon again, but he didn't want to push himself to that.

He didn't want to be someone who hit someone else like that.

"You love me," the demon sang out, and he rolled his hips, his cock rubbing against Alex's stomach. "You're going to fall in love with me, you'll forget Ryland and it'll just be you and me, here forever."

"No," Alex said, and he pumped his hips forward, groaning at the tight heat of it.

He might not ever love the demon, but it wouldn't be too hard to fall in love with the demon's ass.

He could fall in love with the demon's limpid stare, even with those strange pupiled eyes, it was doing... it was doing something to Alex's heart.

Maybe he could stay here.

He could be a consort to a demon.

Assuming this wasn't some kind of drunken fever dream.

But... it was nice here.

The rest of this place was horrible, but this particular place, it was warm, the rug was warm, and here he was, experiencing the first sexual pleasure he'd had in who knew how long that he wasn't directing at himself. 

And then he was cumming, bottoming out, shuddering, his whole body concentrated on the spot in his gut, on the edge of his cock as he spat cum into the demon's body, and shit, was this some kind of deal?

Would he be stuck here?

But the demon was just pulling his dick in, and the demon was cumming as well, a long, drawn out, show of an orgasm, shuddering, then going completely limp, flat on the rug.

He grinned indolently up at Alex. 

"Aren't you comfortable here?"

The demon was beginning to sound plaintive.

The demon's cum was on Alex's stomach, and it was dark, inky, like the demon's blood had tasted.

It left a trail of darkness on Alex's skin that didn't come off when Alex gave it a half hearted rub. 

It came off like tar, and it was... ew.

He was going to need some time with a serious scrub brush to get it off.

And the vague idea of staying - of being in a place like this, for the rest of his natural life - left.

"I should be going," Alex said, trying not to keep his tone too stiff, trying not to be too uncomfortable with all of this.

"Are you quite sure?"

The demon was giving him an unreadable look.

"Yeah," said Alex. "I should probably, uh... be getting back. Ryland will be missing me."

"You sure?" The demon was grinning wider now. "I don't think he will." 

And then the demon's face... changed, and it was... that was Ryland.

And something in Alex's heart twisted.

He could have lived here, with this person wearing his best friend's face.

But some part of him would always know that it was just someone wearing his best friend's face, and that would never be enough.

How could it be enough?

"No, I'll be going," said Alex.

Maybe he'd have a talk with Ryland about all of this. 

About feelings, about how to deal with them, about Ryland's own feelings, if the guy was ever willing to ever actually access them.

Alex stood up carefully, and he frowned down at his stomach.

The demon's inky, tarry cum had sank into his shirt, and Alex was stuck with the mess of it. 

Okay.

He pulled his own pants back up, his dick still sticky, and he shoved his cock into his boxers, then made his way towards the door.

Or at least, where he thought the door was.

"I do control this place," the demon called, although it didn't make a move to get up.

Alex could see his own cum dribbling out of the demon's hole.

There was something a little sexy about that.

Also gross.

But sexy.

At least he still had his shoes.

"I don't have to let you leave," the demon said, and he was clearly trying to do... something seductive, although fucked if Alex could understand it.

Or if Alex actually... cared.

Did he?

He didn't think he did.

He seemed to be floating in some other place, in the back of his head.

He wasn't sober, but he had the clarity that came from too much alcohol.

Huh.

"You never told me the rules for this place," said Alex, and he was walking towards the doorway.

And the demon was... following him.

Huh.

"Maybe i don't have to tell you,' said the demon. 

"Maybe I'll go home when I've sobered up," Alex said. 

The demon was wearing pants again, was walking as quickly as possibly, and it was... strange to say the least.

Everything was going strange.

What was he feeling? 

He didn't know what he was feeling, nor did he care about what it was that he was feeling.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, and he was more or less whistling as he made his way towards one of the strange doorways.

* * *

The demon followed him, occasionally making comments, as Alex wandered around and around the great fortress, the great corpse of whatever god's body this had been.

It was a bit like dealing with Ryland in a way.

Creepier, but equally depressive.

After what felt like two hours, Alex finally broke the silence, as he tried yet another doorknob.

"So were you ever an angel?"

"What?"

The demon was close enough that his breath was on the back of Alex's neck, and it stank of carrion and broken promises.

The demon had to be doing this on purpose, to fuck with Alex's head.

It was working, although fucked if Alex was going to let the demon know that.

He wanted to gag, and some of the alcohol was leaving his system. 

He finally got the door open, and it was... a gas station bathroom.

There really wasn't any other way of describing the room.

It even had the smell, of urinal cake, stale puke, old shit....

Alex closed the door very quickly, and he made his way to another door.

The hallway was huge and stone, like something out of a fantasy video game.

It had torches in flickering sconces.

The doors all looked different, and it felt like something out of a certain type of comic book.

Usually read by people wearing too much flannel, with beards.

"Why would you think I was an angel once?"

"I read somewhere that demons are just angels that had fallen," said Alex, and he opened another door.

It was a sterile white room, like an operating room.

It smelled strongly of antiseptic, and it reminded Alex of going to the dentist.

The tools resting by the operating room didn't look very sharp.

"Are you telling me that all of these are in your house?"

"Well, no," said the demon. "They're all different entrances to Hell."

"I don't believe in Hell," Alex said primly.

"Well, you don't have to, it still exists," the demon said, his tone amicable.

"I'm Jewish," Alex said. "We don't have a hell. Or demons." He paused. "At least, I don't think we have demons."

"Don't you have evil angels?"

"We do have evil angels," Alex said, remembering seders as a kid, waiting for all the ceremony to be over so that they could just _eat_ already. 

"So what's the difference between an evil angel and a demon, according to you guys?"

"I have no fuckin' idea," Alex said.

His head was starting to pound.

The next door opened to a backyard.

It looked like a normal suburban backyard - the grass was going towards brown, there was a rather sad looking oak tree.

There was an air of futility to the place that hit Alex in the gut.

He closed the door carefully, and he went towards the next one.

"You'll never make it out of here," the demon said. "You should stay here. Be my pet. Or my lover, or my slave, or whatever it is that your strange human heart wants." 

"I want to go home," Alex said.

"You want to go home to that place, with someone who doesn't love you?" The demon crowded close, close enough that his breath was ruffling across Adam's eyelashes. "I could love you, you know."

"You always say that," said a voice from elsewhere, "but I don't think you know what it means."

Alex and the demon both turned around, and there was someone just... standing there.

Someone?

Something?

For a second, Alex thought he was back in the great white place.

Was this Danny the unicorn?

But no, this unicorn looked different.

For one thing, he wasn't wearing spandex - just an old flannel shirt, jeans.

He wore his shape more easily than the other unicorn had, and Alex's mind was already starting to gabble a bit, because... dude.

It was a unicorn. 

It was a unicorn, but it - he? - looked tired.

"What are you doing here?" 

The demon looked genuinely unsettled, which was a look that Alex was going to remember.

Probably in his nightmares, admittedly.

But still.

"You know me," the unicorn said, and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

He had a goatee, a bit like a goat's. 

"Unfortunately," the demon said.

"So you know how to get out of here?"

Alex tried to keep his tone calm, mellow.

Maybe his poor, alcohol soaked brain had finally become soaked through, and he was losing his mind.

Welp.

At least a unicorn was more interesting than the weird angler fish with feet that the one artist had done.

Alex's mind was chasing itself in circles.

He was sobering up, and as he sobered up, things got weirder.

If that was possible.

"I do," said the unicorn.

"Don't you wanna know what else this place has to offer?"

The demon grabbed Alex's hand, and his skin was fever hot, his cheeks flushed.

Alex shook the demon's hand off, going to stand by the unicorn.

"I think one version of Hell is the same as the next one," said Alex, and he surreptitiously wiped his hand off on his jeans. 

"You know that's not true," said the demon. "They're all different!"

"Yeah, but if he wants to see them, he has a choice," said the unicorn.

"I'm gonna guess that your name is Dan," said Alex, staring up at the unicorn.

"That was a good guess," the unicorn said, and he smiled down at Alex.

He had teeth like tombstones, square and blunt.

"I'm a good guesser," Alex agreed. 

"I know how to get outta here," said the unicorn, "although I'm not sure if it's how to get back to where you're from."

"Will it get me out of here, at least?"

"Oh, most definitely," said Dan. "I'm just not sure where we'd end up going."

"Would it be Hell?"

"No, I can get you out of Hell."

"Then let's go!"

* * *

Alex followed after the unicorn.

He glanced down one, surreptitious, and saw that the unicorn didn't have feet, but hooves.

They clicked on the floor.

Um.

They were huge.

And Dan had a tail.

It was a bit like a cow's tail - longer, with a little tuft of fur on the edge of it.

The demon followed after Alex, and they must have looked like a very odd parade, going through the myriad rooms of the great, empty fortress/mansion/corpse.

It was huge, terrifying, and he didn't understand it, but the unicorn was there, and he was almost... bright.

He had a mane like a horse - it was white, and it flowed across the long, thick neck.

The horn shone like a crystal in the dimness, steady and bright, and Alex followed it, because it was better to follow that than to go back into the flickering torchlight, back to the demon.

The demon who was still following them, who would occasionally reach out to hold on to the hem of Alex's shirt, or to hold on to Alex's hair. 

He seemed almost... hopeful.

Bordering on pathetic, honestly.

Was the demon lonely?

Did he want some kind of human company?

Maybe he just needed some kind of companionship.

But... Alex could live with Ryland's tantrums, his moodiness, his storms of emotion.

He wasn't going to deal with that from a face that so closely resembled his own.

And then the unicorn was stopping at a door.

It was a pretty ordinary looking door - it was almost a relief, honestly, after all of the other doors that they had passed.

None of them had looked like they… belonged.

This one did.

It matched the decaying corpse aesthetic.

If there was a decaying corpse aesthetic.

“So,” said the unicorn, “ready to go?”

“Yeah,” said Alex. “Let’s get out of here.”

The unicorn held his hand out, and Alex took it.

The unicorns palms were bare, and they were soft.

Softer than Alex would think.

“Please stay,” the demon said, from behind Alex.

Alex turned around, and he looked into the demon’s face.

The demon looked… sad.

The kind of sad that Alex didn’t understand.

But it wasn’t the kind of sad that Alex was willing to deal with.

Okay.

“Let’s go,” Alex said to Dan, and he squeezed the unicorn’s hand as they began to walk down the white road.

* * * 

At some point, the unicorn left.

At one point, he had been walking companionably next to Alex.

The next, he was gone.

Alex didn’t entirely understand it, but fuck it.

He’d stopped asking questions.

The white road gradually changed, turned grey, turned black, and then Alex was walking down his own street.

Something happened.

Something that he didn’t understand, except that he knew it like his own name.

* * * 

“Dude,” said Ryland, when Alex walked in, “when did you get back?”

“Just now,” said Alex. “Was I gone long?”

“Not super long,” said Ryland. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

It was said matter of factly - it took Alex a minute to realize he’d been apologized to. 

“Oh. Yeah. Uh, don’t worry about it, man,” said Alex.

He was more touched than he should have been.

“I, uh, told Ash about our fight, and she said that I was kind of a bonehead,” said Ryland, and he smiled at Alex crookedly.

Something in Alex’s chest just… fell, but he managed a smile.

“You were,” said Alex, “but I was kind of a jerk too, so I think we’re both the bad guys in this situation.”

“Next time we fight, let’s try to act like adults,” said Ryland. 

“Sounds good,” said Alex.

Ryland wrinkled his nose.

“What kind of skanky bar were you _in_ , dude, you smell horrible.” 

“Long story,” Alex said, and leaned back into the couch, his hands behind his head.

His feet hurt, and he put his feet up, sighing.

“You know,” he told Alex, “I’ve been thinking that maybe I should… you know, go sober. Sometimes. Some kind of sober.”

“Really?”

One of Ryland’s eyebrows went up. 

“Oh, yeah,” said Alex. “I think all of this is doing weird shit to my brain.”

“Maybe,” said Ryland. “But dude… what happened to your stomach?”

There was a dark splotch, right over his navel.

Um.

Shit.

“Long story,” Alex said, “and I think that most of it was a dream….”

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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